by Sophie Baker

This is the third installment in Sophie Baker’s ‘What I wish I had known…’ series, where she reflects on her approach to practice when she started out – and what she would tell her younger self now.

As a newly qualified social worker, I was taught that building trust sat at the heart of social work.

During my studies, I heard that children were more likely to share their thoughts, feelings and worries with professionals they trusted. I understood that secure, consistent relationships were vital for children to feel safe enough to open up about their experiences and hopes for the future.

What I hadn’t fully grasped was just how difficult a task building the foundations of a trusting relationship was going to be.

Creating true connections with children who are going through difficult experiences is an exceptional skill. It takes patience, warmth and sincerity.

Here are some lessons I learned when trying to form impactful relationships.

Being clear about my role

Sophie Baker has over 20 years’ experience in social work

I remember how difficult it was to explain my role to children in a way that felt honest and comforting.

In the early days, I often used vague phrases like, ‘My job is to keep children safe’. While this wasn’t wrong, it didn’t give a full picture of what that actually meant for them.

I wish I had taken the time to explain more. I could have said, ‘I talk to your family, teachers, and other people who care about you to see how we can make things better’; or,  ‘Sometimes families go through difficult times and I help find ways to make things better’, or, ‘I will listen to you  and make sure your voice is heard when decisions are made about you’.

Children want to understand why we are there and how we can help. We need to be as clear and transparent in our answer as we can.

Keeping promises

Not long after qualifying, I remember my supervisor telling me, ‘If you say it, do it!’.  What a great piece of advice!

Many of the children I was working with had been let down by adults and, consequently, they needed to see the actions behind my words.

Children need to know they can rely on us. I learned that it’s not just about saying I would do something, it was also about following through with my promise.

Showing up when we say we will and doing what we promised is how we can demonstrate we are trustworthy. Children sometimes need deeds more than words.

Being present during visits

I knew that building a connection would be much easier when offering the child my undivided attention during our time together.

Yet the anxiety I felt during the first few months of practice hugely impacted on my ability to be truly in the moment at times.

In the rush to manage my workload, I sometimes found myself distracted. I would grab a few minutes here and there during home visits to speak to children, but I struggled to give them the uninterrupted, meaningful time they deserved.

I felt deeply ashamed. It took me some time to confess these issues to my manager, but it was ultimately supervision that helped reframe my way of thinking.

Techniques to prepare for sessions

I came to understand that relationship-building with children wasn’t an ‘extra’ part of the job, but the heart of effective social work.

I developed simple techniques to get mentally prepared before one-to-one sessions.

During car journeys, I created space in my mind by slowing my breathing and using affirmations such as ‘I am here, and I am ready to listen with my full attention’.

I also practised techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, where you name things you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste to ground yourself in the present.

These small steps made a real difference, helping me to be fully engaged with each child and leave the ‘to do’ list aside.

Using creative tools for communication

Children often have a hard time expressing their feelings with words.

In my early days, I sometimes relied too heavily on traditional methods of talking and using worksheets.

However, I knew I needed to change that when Freddie, a young boy I was supporting, told me he had completed the same ‘Who Am I?’ worksheet multiple times with other workers. He was fed up, and rightfully so. It didn’t feel special to him.

He taught me the importance of diversifying my approach.

I started exploring more creative tools like sand trays art materials, and role play with him. A simple ice cream tub filled with sand and miniature figures allowed us to explore Freddie’s relationships, dreams, and strengths in a meaningful and playful way. It worked wonders in helping him open up!

Were I to have been developing this knowledge now, I think I would have also explored digital tools, such as apps and online games, which can engage children in new ways and make it easier to connect.

Being honest with children, even when it is painful

Throughout my career, I’ve had many painful conversations with children.

It’s an inevitable part of being a social worker. I sometimes needed to explore deeply distressing topics with children: grief after the death of a sibling, allegations of sexual abuse by a parent, the repeated disappointment of a parent failing to attend family time, the serious illness of a foster carer.

I always dreaded these discussions, and the emotional weight of them lingered long after with the memory of some of these still bringing a lump to my throat.

An important lesson for me during those interactions was always coming from a place of honesty and transparency.

It was so tempting to protect the children from stress and worry by softening the truth, being a bit vague or moving on quickly after I had delivered the news or asked a difficult question.

However, I came to understand that, when lacking accurate information, children will often make up their own versions of what is happening. The real danger lies in their imagination making things feel scarier than they really are.

I wish I had known that providing clear, age-appropriate information helps children make sense of the situation and gives them a greater sense of control.

Being honest during the most painful moments is one of the most valuable ways we can build trust with the children we work with.

Celebrate those who’ve inspired you

Photo by Daniel Laflor/peopleimages.com/ AdobeStock

Do you have a colleague, mentor, or social work figure you can’t help but gush about?

Our My Brilliant Colleague series invites you to celebrate anyone within social work who has inspired you – whether current or former colleagues, managers, students, lecturers, mentors or prominent past or present sector figures whom you have admired from afar.

Nominate your colleague or inspiration by filling in our nominations form with a few paragraphs (100-250 words) explaining how and why the person has inspired you.

*Please note that, despite the need to provide your name and role, you or the nominee can be anonymous in the published entry*

If you have any questions, email our community journalist, Anastasia Koutsounia, at anastasia.koutsounia@markallengroup.com

Understanding the child’s experience

The short- and long-term impact of parental substance misuse on children can be significant. Understanding the child’s experiences is central when working with parental substance misuse.

It is important to bear in mind that children may know a great deal about their parent’s use of substances, despite best efforts to keep things hidden. Even very young children may know that ‘something’ is going on and can be sensitive to the shifts in their parent’s presentation, such as the changing sights and smells of the house or how their parents are responding to them and each other (Houmoller et al, 2011).

It may be difficult to directly ask the child about their parent’s substance misuse. The parent might not want you to, or might believe the child knows nothing, or the child might feel worried about telling a professional. In these situations, a good starting point is to assess what a ‘typical’ day or week looks like for the child.

For example, you could talk about who they see, what happens, who looks after them or who they go to for help if they need something or are scared. These kinds of questions may help to unpick what the child’s experiences are, and how safe and stable they feel home life is.

Tips for working with children

Below are recommendations for how to approach working with children affected by parental substance misuse. These recommendations have been developed from studies where researchers talked to children about what they wanted from professionals.

• Use a non-judgmental approach: Studies show that children can experience discrimination or stigma from professionals as a result of their parent’s substance misuse (Muir et al, 2022). Children are also very likely be aware of the shame and stigma that surrounds parental substance misuse. Professionals need to approach these conversations mindful of the language they use about substance misuse and the child’s parents/carers and the assumptions they may have made about the child’s experiences.
• Provide stability and consistency: Children affected by parental substance misuse may have experienced a great deal of inconsistency in their lives and may therefore be particularly affected by things like staff turnover. Aiming to ensure a stable and consistent professional figure in a child’s life is important. To create this stable relationship, there are important things a social worker can do such as:

• • Booking visits ahead of time, making the child aware of the location and time and giving notice if things change and the visit is not possible.
  • Not over-promising; ensuring that you follow through on what you say you will do (eg making a referral).
  • Being honest about who you share information with and why, and what might happen as a result.
  • Being clear about your role in their life, how long you might be in their life for and what might happen when you are no longer their social worker.
  • Ensuring a managed ending which the child can prepare for.

• Use professionalism: Children value professionals who are non-confrontational in their approach (O’Connor et al, 2014; Houmoller et al, 2011) and who do not ‘quiz’ the child about their parent’s substance misuse (Muir et al, 2022). Children want professionals who are reliable and proactive in responding to disclosures made by them (Muir et al, 2022). Children also need to know that professionals are trustworthy and safe and that the information they share is safe. Some information children tell professionals may need to be written down or shared with other people, which requires professionals to be transparent about information sharing.
• Listen and understand: It is important that children are listened to, respected and believed. Children value flexibility in how professionals communicate and engage with them (Muir et al, 2022). Some children particularly value being able to just ‘sit’ in a safe place with a professional (eg in a teacher’s office) and not necessarily talk about anything. Children also note that the most supportive professionals tend to have a good understanding of parental substance misuse (Houmoller et al, 2011). If children have additional needs around communication, social workers need to give further consideration to ensure they are listened to and understood and ensure that their approach is appropriate to the child’s development and needs. Inform Children users can find additional information and advice can on this in these case studies from a specialist team on working with disabled children.
• Acknowledge and respect the child’s expertise: Children are experts in their own lives. Children may also have considerable strategies already in place to protect themselves and their siblings. These might include having a safe family member or friend to talk to or stay with, having a safe space in the house away from their parents, writing in journals or practising mindfulness (Muir et al, 2022). Children may also have coping strategies which are potentially harmful, for example, isolating themselves (Velleman and Templeton, 2007). When working with children, it is important to respect their expertise and potentially build on their protective strategies if it is appropriate to do.
• Support the whole family: Children report wanting practical and emotional support for them and their family. Practical support, such as financial support and help with day-to-day issues, may immediately improve a child’s life. Emotional support can be provided through one-to-one support, group work or specialist support in the local area. There are also useful websites which have resources for children affected by parental substance misuse. Children may also want support in understanding more about substance misuse. Many children report being frightened by their parent’s substance use, including worrying about them dying or being very unwell. Children do not necessarily have age-appropriate ways of finding out information about substance misuse. The signposting section in the full guide includes some resources which may be helpful to use when working with children and young people.
• Use holistic interventions: Interventions which work to help achieve best outcomes for children and families are:

• • holistic, providing support for different issues in family life;
  • integrated, with different professionals working collaboratively with the family and each other;
  • long term, as substance misuse is a relapsing and remitting issue which is unlikely to be resolved quickly and without ongoing support;
  • engaged with the whole family, with support available for the children as well as the adults in the family (McGovern et al, 2022).

What to read next

• Parental mental illness
• Increasing parental motivation and aspiration
• Parenting assessments

References

Houmoller, K, Bernays, S, Wilson, S & Rhodes, T (2011)
Juggling Harms: Coping with Parental Substance Misuse

Muir, C, Adams, E. A, Evans, V et al (2022)
‘A Systematic Review of Qualitative Studies Exploring Lived Experiences, Perceived Impact, and Coping Strategies of Children and Young People Whose Parents Use Substances‘

McGovern, R, Newham, J, Addison, M, Hickman, M, Kaner, E (2022)
‘The effectiveness of psychosocial interventions at reducing the frequency of alcohol and drug use in parents: findings of a Cochrane Review and meta-analyses‘

O’Connor, L, Forrester, D, Holland, S & Williams, A (2014)
‘Perspectives on children’s experiences in families with parental substance misuse and child protection interventions’

Templeton, L, Velleman, R (2007)
Understanding and modifying the impact of parents substance misuse on children

Generally, direct work can include:

• Exploring children’s memories of events.
• Helping children to process traumatic experiences.
• Undertaking life story work.
• Helping with social aspects of the child’s life.

Building a trusting relationship

Direct work with children and young people requires, along with materials and techniques to help them talk, specific social work skills that include:

• active listening;
• sensitivity;
• a ‘mentalised’ approach (the ability to understand we all have minds that contain intentions, thoughts and feelings that are different from others’).

Recognising the hard emotional work that a child will do in direct work sessions and taking steps to create a nurturing environment can be invaluable, and it is always worth asking those who are caring for the child what drinks and snacks he or she can have whilst in the room with you.

The main thing that children say is helpful in allowing adults to work with them is the quality of that adult’s capacity to listen actively to them and to hear the things they are not saying.

Equally important is that when adults tell the child that something will happen, it does. So, be mindful of the language you use as anything that sounds like a promise is just that to the child. Reliable, confident, kindly and attentive adults, who appear genuinely interested, are singled out as special people.

Setting the tone

A general principle of direct work is that it should create the conditions for the child to speak. This requires the social worker to be an active listener, not a busy ‘doer’.

The purpose of direct work is to provide secure conditions for the child or, to use Bion’s term, ‘containment’, so that the child can feel safe to express their feelings. It consists of quiet, sensitive observation, with the aim of occasionally lubricating the process.

Reactions to the child should be congruent with what they are saying and doing, including your tone of voice. Although it is sometimes appropriate to be bright and cheerful, you do not want to give the impression that every session will be fun, and sensitivity and good observations skills are important.

You should seek meaning in what the child is expressing – both verbally and non-verbally. This requires self-awareness so that the social worker can distinguish their own feelings from those of the child.

What to take to direct work sessions

You may not know much about a child before a visit other than basic details such as name and age. Also, it could be that only one visit will be undertaken.

Social workers need to know not only what has happened, but also its meaning for the child. They need to be able to enter the child’s inner world without necessarily having weeks to develop a relationship. Therefore, a general selection of toys and materials should be available for all visits. Consider bringing:

• a few (washable) felt-tip/coloured pencils;
• a small soft doll;
• a few toy animals;
• a few small cars;
• some paper.

Other ideas of activities to bring include:

• puppets;
• buttons;
• play people in family groups;
• farm animals;
• musical instruments;
• Play-Doh.

Many practitioners have books that they use for children in particular circumstances. Teams should be encouraged to share what they use and how they do so, perhaps building up a team resource bank.

Whilst there is a ‘right’ way to engage children, active listening being the most important attribute, there is no ‘right’ number of toys or games to have on hand.  Practitioners make choices as to what they offer and how they offer it.

It is always important, though, to reflect on your practice and see if it is giving you the best results you would expect. Watching a colleague at work with a child, team-based discussions on working methods and your own reading can refresh you and challenge you to work differently.

Some practitioners can engage the child using simple materials such as papers and pens, using their own experiences to draw out information. However, most children will engage more readily if provided with an activity as an introduction to the work and, for some, it is important that you do the task too.

Sitting beside, rather than face to face, with a child allows dialogue to develop and a sense of sharing.

The work you do with children may help them to understand themselves better; this is particularly true when practitioners use tools such as ecomaps and genograms.

Picking a location for direct work

Direct work should be carried out somewhere quiet, where the child feels safe, where you are not going to be interrupted and where the child knows how to get to the toilet. Children engaged in potentially stressful situations often need to go to the toilet at regular intervals, as a way of regulating their emotions as well as due to the physical desire to urinate.

In complex family situations, practitioners may want to see and meet the child in a neutral space, and some social workers plan with parents or carers to see the child at their school.

Although this has the advantage of being an environment free of family or parental influence, it brings the home situation into the school for the child which may be distressing for them. Perhaps a better neutral space for some children is a children’s centre, Cafcass office or other office space.

Using observation

Simply observing a child during free play is a good way of gaining insight into their usual ways of playing and interaction with other children and their toys. Using direct work in addition allows practitioners to gain a great understanding of a child’s lived experiences.

It is important to remember that children up to four years of age tend to think in egocentric and concrete ways, and care should be taken when interpreting their behaviours. You should seek advice when considering what their behaviour might mean and avoid making assumptions about what children can understand.

McLeod (2008) states that even pre-school children can have a mature understanding of an abstract concept, such as death, if it is relevant to their experience and when they have had it sensitively explained to them.

Developmental capacity

With older children, direct work may focus on mediation between them and their parents or carers. As with younger children, bear in mind they are conscious of non-verbal signs such as posture, tone of voice, gesture and facial expression.

Direct work with older children can include a focus on:

• their relationships;
• bullying;
• sexual identity;
• family disharmony;
• confidence;
• making and keeping friends,
• their life story.

Many unaccompanied asylum-seeking children may have experienced trauma in their country of origin and need help processing this. They may also need support managing feelings of loss or in establishing their identity in a new country without the support of their loved ones.

Practise using the activities beforehand and attempt to predict any questions that may arise. It will be important to think about what ‘expressing their view’ might mean to the child.

Cultural norms should be considered; for example, different cultures have proximity comfort zones and social norms about direct eye contact and hand gestures. Some cultures find it unacceptable to sit on the floor, and some may find it unacceptable for a child to name their parents.

In addition, adults from some cultures do not get involved in their children’s play, which could result in the child finding the social worker’s interest in completing direct work activities puzzling or uncomfortable.

If you have a Community Care Inform Children licence, log on to access the full guide and learn more about conducing confident direct work with children and young people.

What to read next

• Directory of direct work tools to use with children and young people
• Introduction to direct work with children and young people: a quick guide 
• Writing up direct work for case records and court reports

References

Bion, W, R (2023)
Learning from experience 

McLeod, A (2008)
Listening to Children: a practitioners guide

What is life story work?

Life story work is a “biographical narrative approach used within health and social care settings that offers individuals an opportunity to talk and think about their lived experiences” (Kontomichalos-Eyre, Lake & McGillivray, 2003).

Life story work is most commonly associated with adoption. It is a requirement set out in law and statutory guidance for adopted children to have life story books, and, historically, research has focused on its role in adoption. However, life story work can also make a significant positive difference to the lives of children in care.

One reason is that addressing the need for children to feel safe is an essential goal of the work. Research by Staines and Selwyn (2020) indicated that many children expressed confusion about why they were in care, resulting in an uneasy feeling and desire for more information.

When children feel ‘unsettled’

Children may exhibit behaviours because of feeling ‘unsettled’, and often professionals, parents or carers may assume these are a result of ‘something wrong’ with the child.

For example, children may appear irritable, tense, restless or unable to sit still, or they may lack concentration and be easily distracted.

Practitioners should consider behaviours exhibited by children in care in the context of separation, loss, developmental trauma and/or severe adversity rather than focusing on them as symptoms of various diagnoses.

A collective responsibility

An important approach to life story work is to ensure there is sufficient planning. This is not only down to the social work practitioner; you should involve practitioners within the wider network who are supporting the child.

It is a collective responsibility for everyone involved in the young person’s life. Consider how you can best utilise the skills of everyone involved.

Reaching out to birth families is helpful as well, as family networking and conferencing can help to answer questions the child may have, such as, ‘What hospital was I born in?’, or, ‘How did I weigh?’.

Having the answers to these questions will help the child understand their past and will help to form their identity.

It is important to use spaces that are already available to you such as reflective spaces, supervision and team meetings. First-hand information from practice that is shared during group supervision, for example, can be an effective way of receiving peer support and can help with planning and sharing of resources.

Involving carers

Encourage caregivers to record the memories and moments of the child’s time in their care.

This helps ensure that children will not leave their care with limited memories of the parts of their lives while being in care and helps the child understand their experiences.

Positive therapeutic relationship

Life story work is a relational therapeutic intervention that helps children to heal. Studies have shown that absence of life story work can adversely affect a child’s identify formation.

Identity theory in general explains that everyone finds themselves through relationships, experiences and memories; and if this is not possible then people often feel ‘lost’ and uneasy. This is often linked to low self-esteem and anxiety, and what is termed ‘external locus of control’.

If children and young people have access to life story work, then this helps to build a good sense of their identity, which adds to their internal locus of control and a more positive mindset.

Increasing trust and self-esteem

This is because life story work can help ‘fill gaps’ that children and young people may have about past experiences, which can help children to feel more optimistic about the future and increase self-esteem.

It can help to form connections with others as well, increasing the trust children have in others and can improve placement stability by reducing relational conflict within placements.

Practitioners can try to make links and connections between the child’s experiences and the current anxiety, anger or restlessness they may be experiencing. This helps to increase the child’s resilience, by highlighting their capacity to grow and change despite experiencing negative events.

Although information about the child’s past can cause negative emotions, it is better to help the child share and understand their past to make sense of what they experienced and connect parts of their lives.

If you have a Community Care Inform Children licence, log on to access the recorded webinar and learn more about undertaking life story work.

References

Kontomichalos-Eyre, S, Lake, A & McGillivray, J (2023)
‘Life story work for children and youth in out of home care: a systematic review and synthesis if qualitative studies’
Children and Youth Services Review, 144, Elsevier

Staines J & Selwyn J (2020)
‘”I wish someone would explain why I am in care”: The impact of children and young people’s lack of understanding of why they are in out-of-home care on their well-being and felt security’
Child & Family Social Work, 25 (1), Wiley

What is motivational interviewing? 

Motivational interviewing can be defined as a particular way of talking with people about change and growth to strengthen their own motivation and commitment. It was first developed by William Miller (1983) while working in the field of substance misuse, but very quickly its relevance to a wide variety of fields resulted in its application in many countries across the world and in diverse settings and cultures.

Motivational interviewing focuses on the here and now; practitioners look at how the person is feeling and behaving at that moment and notice the difference between this and how the person would like to feel and behave.

Social work practitioners in many scenarios, from safeguarding children to working with older adults with acute and chronic illness, have used the approach. Motivational interviewing has been used with young people in schools and can be applied to direct work with children and families, such as in addressing concerns about domestic abuse, substance misuse and general behaviour change.

Four tasks of motivational interviewing 

1. Engaging: This process focuses on building a relationship between the practitioner and the individual. The counselling skills of open questioning, affirming, reflective listening and summarising (known as OARS) begin in the engaging process and continue throughout the whole approach. The person needs to be engaged with the practitioner and their approach before the other tasks can occur. First impressions are important and appropriate body language and eye contact are essential. There are some key ‘traps’ to avoid so that engagement can happen. For example, the ‘assessment trap’ describes the possibility that during the practitioners’ process of gathering information at the initial meeting, the practitioner may ask too many questions and take on an ‘assessor’ role. The practitioner should avoid making the conversation feel like an interrogation. Other ‘traps’ to avoid are explained in the full guide. 

2. Focusing: While it is important for practitioners to have an aim and agenda for what they want to address, it is equally important to include issues that the person would like to focus on. This creates a collaborative partnership rather than a hierarchical exchange. It also helps in creating a more relaxed setting and can reduce the level of defensiveness, because the person has a sense of empowerment and control. It is likely that during motivational interviewing you will need to provide information and advice; a helpful structure is to ask, offer, ask. For example:

Ask

• “What things have you tried in the past?”
• “What options have other people tried that you are aware of?”

Offer

• “Is it okay with you if I run through a couple of ideas?”
• “Evidence suggests…” “Research shows….”.

Ask

• “Which one will you think about/try/do?”

More examples are included in the full guide. 

3. Evoking: Practitioners should use an interviewing style in their dialogues, which enables the person to share their thoughts, feelings and opinions. There are several skills the practitioner can use to attempt to draw out more ‘change talk’ (see below for the definition).

What is shame?

Shame is a very important concept to consider as it can often be at the root of many worrying behaviours in children and caregivers that social workers might encounter.

Shame has been described as a set of intense feelings, mainly concerned with an inner sense of feeling unworthy, unlovable, useless, and worthless. People cope and deal with shame in different ways, either by internalising, externalising or denying these feelings completely.

Shame-focused coping

The compass of shame model below (Nathanson, 1992) provides a starting point for understanding shame and behaviours that can develop because of it. This model illustrates four shame coping styles: withdrawal, attack-self, avoidance, and attack-other.

From Shame and Pride by D Nathanson (1992)

Examples of behaviours associated with the four coping styles may look like this:

Withdrawal

• Presenting in a depressed state and/or isolating themselves.
• Avoiding professionals and potentially being seen as ‘non-engaging’ or ‘avoidant’.

Attacking the self

• Putting themselves down and thinking of themselves as worthless.
• Using self-harming behaviours (this includes overeating and undereating).

Avoidance

• Presenting as though they are in denial.
• Behaviours that distract from feeling emotion, such as thrill-seeking or using/abusing drugs and alcohol (including prescription drugs).

Attacking others

• Lashing out verbally and/or physically, seemingly at random times.
• Being unable to take responsibility for their own actions and blaming others for any negative outcomes.

Access the full guide for more examples of behaviours that can present from shame-focused coping styles.

Working with shame

First, we have to recognise that families who become part of the child protection system often don’t have a choice about having services involved, so may well present a defensive response. Social workers and practitioners are therefore likely to witness shame-based coping styles and behaviours. In response, it is important to:

Be mindful of the language used

• Pay attention to the words and vocabulary that you use in assessments, case notes and direct work, as these can intensify feelings of shame.
• Avoid using too many acronyms and professional jargon – ensure the person you’re supporting understands and can relate to the words and phrases you are using.
• Ask yourself: ‘How does this use of language help to promote relationship-based practice in social work?’

Be aware of bodily responses and visual signs of shame

• Pay attention to body language and somatic presentations (eg is the person avoiding your gaze?).
• ‘Safety behaviours’ may signal shame (eg turning their face away, slumped posture, blushing, their mind going blank).
• Is there a repetitive somatic symptom that the person displays when discussing a specific topic (eg when discussing interpersonal experiences are they shaking their foot, playing with their hands, etc?)?
• Pay attention to who, where, and what children look at when you ask them a direct question.

If you recognise any sudden onset of the behaviours outlined above you can:

• Think about the conversation that occurred immediately before and ask yourself, ‘did I ask a question about a particular relationship?’ or ‘were they telling me a story about a previous relationship’?.
• Consider if the locations where you are having conversations trigger shame behaviours (ie home environment, sitting opposite each other). Try creating opportunities where eye gaze can be naturally averted, and consider having conversations in a different location that may be less intimidating (eg sitting in a park side-by-side rather than directly opposite each other).

The full guide on shame includes more information about how shame can present itself throughout childhood and the life course, along with the relationships between shame, guilt and survival. If you have a Community Care Inform Children licence, log on to see the full guide and read more detailed information.

by Elena Nicolaou

My visits to families are often the most enjoyable part of my week.

I like the listening, relationship-building, direct work and insight that comes from home visits.

I do not, however, like timescales (who does?!), but understand the necessity of them for safeguarding. In my current role, I have the standard fortnightly child protection visits, and child in need visits every 20 days.

The difficulty I often find is trying to fit everything I need to discuss with the family into one visit. I find myself thinking, ‘How have four weeks gone by already?’, and, ‘How has my list of things to address doubled?’.

Leaving on time

Pictured: Elena Nicolaou

I try to create plans, but my busy reality means I often end up planning just before a visit or on my way there, if at all. The reasons behind this are the usual suspects – too many meetings, too much admin, no admin staff to help with the admin, too many emails etc.

Another problem is that the time allocated never seems like enough. I often schedule an hour for my visits and struggle to get out of the door.

Sometimes, the families have something to do and they’re trying to rush me, but this is definitely in the minority. They usually have a lot to say and it’s quite a skill to leave on time, and even get there on time (I’m late 95% of the time).

It’s a balancing act. I’m usually honest that I have another visit or meeting to get to and state this openly.  But if I’m making progress on a crucial discussion or a child is upset, I try to stay and then leave when things are more settled.

I had an occasion recently, though, when this wasn’t possible. I felt so awful knowing that a child was crying and I couldn’t stay to comfort them, but it was the end of the day and I had to pick up a family member.

Social workers and counsellors

I’ve been reflecting on the parallels with therapists and counsellors. With every therapist I have ever worked with, the sessions always end on time, without fail.

Naturally, they don’t have the same safeguarding duties as social workers, but I think we can learn from the techniques they use. These include, when appropriate, referencing time after the midway point, summarising key points near the close of the session and making references to the next meeting.

Much like therapists, we need to feel comfortable leaving sessions that aren’t ‘finished’ in uncomfortable places or with issues left unresolved.

Of course, I wouldn’t want you to think I’m advocating for leaving a family during a crisis, where the police are about to be called. Safety is paramount.

But I do think families need to have realistic expectations of what social workers can do during their working hours. Part of this, for me, is understanding the pressures social workers are under.

This is not a topic that warrants taking up precious time during a home visit. But being clear with families about your schedule can help.

Setting boundaries

Photo by AdobeStock/stanciuc

I tend to explain working hours, provide the emergency duty team number and mention my work phone not being turned on 24/7. I have not had any families who did not understand this.

I do offer flexibility, though, and if families can only see me at 6pm because of work or other commitments, then I comply. I take the time back on another day.

Good outcomes for families are what we want, and time is key to achieving that; time to advocate, to make referrals, to listen and to do reflective work with them.

As social workers, we are part of a wider network of professional support that they receive. We need to understand what our role is, and isn’t, what we can do in our home visits and what needs to be done by universal services – and by families themselves.

Recently, during  a home visit, I had to set a firm boundary with a teenager with additional needs (autism spectrum), who had kept repeating questions we had discussed multiple times.

After reminding him of our previous conversation and the actions we had agreed on, I then explained that I had to leave due to another appointment. His younger sibling also wanted to chat and play, which would have been an enjoyable interlude, but not a possible one at that time.

In another instance, I had an office visit scheduled with a mother to complete important paperwork and discuss updates on care planning and interventions for her child, who had become looked after.

We had an hour and a half scheduled in but were coming to the end of the session and had not managed to complete all the paperwork. So, instead of carrying on as I might have done when I was newly qualified, I booked another appointment.

Making compromises, thinking creatively and being able to ask for what is needed is essential. We are social workers, but we also need to respect our own time boundaries and that seek that elusive work/life balance.

Do you have a story or any reflections you’d like to share or write about? Check out our guidelines page for information on how to share your ideas and email our community journalist at anastasia.koutsounia@markallengroup.com 

Social workers could more than double the time they spend with children and families through more efficient case management systems and fewer meetings.

That was the conclusion from a report last week from county council leaders setting out a “blueprint” designed to keep more children with their families through relationship and strengths-based practice.

Practitioners’ studies typically spent just under 20% of their time working directly with children and families, found the paper by the County Councils Network (CCN), Association of County Chief Executives (ACCE) and consultancy Newton.

Half of social worker time spent on admin

By contrast, they spent half of their time on case recording, administration or other IT tasks, and significant time in meetings.

Researchers based their estimates on more than 100 social workers logging their time over the course of a week, and through shadowing some practitioners to observe how they split their time.

The report said practitioners’ time with children and families could rise to 45% on average if councils invested in digital systems that supported more efficient case recording, limited internal meetings and expanded the use of remote meetings developed through the Covid-19 pandemic.

The call came as a British Association of Social Workers report released in the same week found that the demands of administrative tasks was the biggest challenge practitioners reported facing in their roles.

Projected care population ‘could be cut by a third’

The CCN, ACCE and Newton report projected that the number of children in care in England could rise from 80,850 to between 86,000 and 95,000 by the end of 2025, adding up to £2.1bn to costs. This meant “the status quo was not an option”, it said

However, the report estimated that reforms could save 95% of the cost and cut by a third the projected number of children looked after by 2025 to between 64,000 and 77,000.

Based on case reviews with practitioners, the report estimated that 39% of children currently looked after could have avoided coming into care had the system worked differently and there was more support in place for families on the verge of crisis.

It recommended that councils spend £205m a year on ‘edge of care’ services to support those young people either at risk of coming into care or who could return to their families where it was safe to do so.

This would involve practitioners having the time to build and maintain strong and trusting relationships with families, working effectively with adults’ specialists and other agencies in a whole-family way and building on families’ strengths to overcome challenges.

Reforms ‘cannot be done on a shoestring’

The report, based on analysis of six county authorities, national data sets and conversations with more than 200 people in the system, also called for investment in care provision to provide more support in family-based settings rather than residential care.

It estimated that 40% fewer children (between 3,300 and 4,400) could be in children’s homes and placed with kinship or foster carers instead, including through improved foster carer recruitment and support.

Keith Glazier, children’s services spokesperson for the CCN, said: “The report throws down the gauntlet for local authorities to work more effectively, but it also shows how the rest of the public sector can be more joined up in supporting families on the verge of crisis, and in delivering meaningful support to reduce the need for lengthy periods in care: improving outcomes for children.

“However, this cannot be done on a shoestring and we urge for a substantial injection of funding from government this year so we can begin to transform services.

‘Social work at its best is face-to-face’

BASW said the report chimed with its own 80-20 campaign, which aims to reduce bureaucracy and increase support and resources so social workers spend more with families.

“Social work at its best happens face to face and that’s what social workers want to do, not be stuck doing admin,” it said.

The Association of Directors of Children’s Services agreed with the report’s recommendations of a long-term funding settlement for children’s services, a greater focus on early help and prevention and a national focus on recruiting and retaining foster carers.

“Although care can be the right thing for some children, we should be doing all we can to support families to stay together safely, in line with the Children Act 1989,” said ADCS president Charlotte Ramsden.

“Government should support us in this by ensuring we have appropriate resources to keep children safe from harm and to provide targeted early help at the earliest opportunity.”

The Department for Education (DfE) said it recognised the “pressures that councils are facing on children’s services” and that some of the £4.8bn increase in government grant funding for councils over the next three years announced at last year’s spending review would go towards addressing this.

“This support comes alongside wider investment in children and family services, including our expansion and rollout of family hubs across the country and through the supported families programme,” a spokesperson for the department said.

They added that the care review, due to be published in late spring, would “provide an opportunity to reform the care system more widely”.

“Excellent” and “culturally sensitive” direct work by social workers has helped their council improve to ‘good’ in its latest Ofsted inspection.

The inspectorate also found that strong staff retention at Leicester council provided a “bedrock of stability” that promoted excellent relationships between children and practitioners.

The inspection in September and early October saw Leicester rise to ‘good’ from the requires improvement rating it received in 2017 and inadequate verdict in 2015.

‘Excellent direct work’

Inspectors praised the quality of direct work with both children in need of help and protection and those in care.

With children in care, social workers completed creative and age-appropriate work that ensured children’s views were central to decision-making. With those in need, practice was culturally sensitive – in the context of Leicester’s very diverse population – and ensured further support and safety plans were well-informed by children’s views.

Ofsted also found that children came into care at the right time after careful consideration, with social workers being “tenacious” in supporting children to live with extended families where possible. For those in foster care, careful matching ensured children were able to develop positive relationships with carers and often lived with them into adulthood.

‘Bedrock of stability’

Ofsted said that staff retention was one of Leicester’s “significant strengths” providing a “bedrock of stability” that promoted excellent relationships between social workers and the children they supported.

Social workers were well-supported by their managers – with most receiving “good-quality, in-depth supervision” – while manageable caseloads enabled them to work purposefully with families.

Practitioners also highlighted to inspectors the commendations they received from management following high-quality work, reflecting a culture of high challenge and support.

Ofsted said senior managers had worked tenaciously to steadily improve services and were “highly aspirational” for vulnerable children in Leicester.

Inspectors also commended the council’s use of performance data, which it said showed that the local authority “knows itself well”.

More consistency required

Ofsted said the authority’s quality of social work practice, management decision-making and recording was not as high in a small number of cases, and that Leicester needed to become more consistent in case recording, management oversight and auditing to further improve.

It said the council needed to co-ordinate its private fostering support better, with some children not receiving timely visits to review their circumstances or sufficient consideration when these changed.

‘Immensely proud’

Leicester’s deputy city mayor for social care and anti-poverty, Sarah Russell, said she was “immensely proud” of Ofsted’s report and praised the “tremendous amount of hard work” by staff.

“We’ve focused on improvements that we will be able to maintain, long-term, as we constantly strive to advance the service we offer to some of our most vulnerable citizens,” she said.

“This has paid off, as inspectors have found that despite all the challenges of a global pandemic, our services are robust.

“We know there is more work still to do, but I’m delighted that the dedication of our staff has been recognised with this result. It is children and families who will benefit from it.”

Workforce instability hampers progress

Ofsted also paid visits to four other local authorities recently, two of which it had most recently rated as inadequate and the other two as requires improvement.

The inspectorate reported some early signs of improvement in Trafford council’s quality of assessments and child protection planning for children.

But it said the authority, which it rated as inadequate in 2019, had been hampered in its attempts to improve by the instability of its workforce and weaknesses in management oversight of frontline practice.

“Despite this, the work reviewed during this visit showed that most children’s situations were improving as a result of the intervention taking place,” said the report, following a monitoring visit in September.

Trafford appointed Jill McGregor as its corporate director of children’s services in February 2020 and Ofsted praised her introduction of an effective performance management framework to ensure leaders had an accurate understanding of the quality of social work practice.

The inspectorate said the council now had stronger governance of children’s services, of which it had undertaken a full restructure.

High number of less-experienced social workers

Ofsted praised Blackpool, which it rated as inadequate in 2019, for reducing the high numbers of children in its care.

The inspectorate also commended the council’s new service to support children on the edge of care and said social workers supported its model of practice.

It said the council, which it visited in September, had introduced permanence panels to oversee children’s progress, which had led to more effective scrutiny of permanence planning.

But Ofsted said the council’s quality of early permanence planning was inconsistent, which led to a delay in permanence planning for some children.

“This is affected by workforce challenges, including high levels of less-experienced social workers in frontline teams,” said Ofsted.

“Senior leaders are acutely aware of this variability in practice and the new director of children’s services [Victoria Gent] is appropriately focused on improving workforce retention and consistency in practice.”

Manageable caseloads support relationships

Ofsted also praised Norfolk, which it last rated as ‘requires improvement’ in 2018, for reducing the number of children in its care steadily over recent years.

After a focused visit in October, it commended senior leaders for recognising the importance for children of stable placements and improving support to children and carers, including through changing team structures..

The inspectorate said social workers working with children in care had manageable caseloads, which enabled them to build relationships with children, family members and professionals.

But Ofsted said there was greater staff turnover in the council’s family assessment and safeguarding teams, which had contributed to delays in some children getting permanent places.

It said the council needed to improve its matching and placement planning information as well as the timeliness, rigour and recording of assessments of family and friend foster carers.

Practice culture praised

Meanwhile, Ofsted commended senior leaders at Kirklees, rated ‘requires improvement’ in 2019, for creating “a culture where strong social work practice improves outcomes for children in care who are in need of permanence”.

It said many children benefited from improved placement stability due to the council developing a “wide range of effective services” since the last inspection.

“Skilled and committed social workers provide sensitive, child-centred practice to children and their carers,” it said following a visit to the council in October.

It said professional development for staff was strongly encouraged and supported but said supervision of some social workers with their direct line managers was not frequent enough.